Saturday, September 11, 2010


I have just noticed something. I'm not sure if it's an accent, a result of genetics, or something more affected, but there is a distinctive male speaking style that I keep hearing lately. Actor Paul Walker has it. The guy who played Kirk's father in the new Star Trek has it. This guy hitting on this girl in this coffee shop I'm in has it. What is it?

Here's a couple videos to show you what I'm talking about:

For the moment, until further research can shed light on the condition, let's call it Douchevoice. I'm pretty sure we've all met someone who talks this way. The voice seems to be intentionally deepened, as if their normal speaking voice is too thin so they're forcing the timbre lower, further down into the throat than it naturally wants to go in order to sound manlier, which results in a weird, hollow, "I have a cold" sound. Douchevoice is also usually accompanied by a slightly southern, vaguely African American drawl.

I have no further points. Just another curiosity. But if you catch your friends developing this affected toughguy dialect, be sure to point out to them that they're speaking in Douchevoice, and help them return their speech to normal before they're lost forever in a downward spiral of doucheyness and end up dying alone on a spaceship being blown up by Romulans from the future.

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